In my coaching journey, I’ve had the privilege of working with remarkable individuals facing unique challenges. One story that stands out is of a coachee—let’s call him Alex—who came to me feeling completely overwhelmed. Alex was a senior leader in a fast-growing company, juggling high-pressure work responsibilities while dealing with personal challenges at home. He felt stretched too thin and caught in a cycle of self-doubt, guilt, and exhaustion.
The Struggle: Torn Between Roles
Alex was devoted to his family and committed to his role at work. But life had thrown him a curveball—a family member’s illness demanded his attention, and he also had to navigate a tough project at work that required long hours and mental focus. He felt he was failing on all fronts.
“I’m not doing enough for my family,” Alex confessed during our first session, his voice heavy with guilt. “But I can’t afford to drop the ball at work either. I feel like I’m constantly failing everyone, including myself.”
Step 1: Cultivating Self-Compassion
One of the first things I introduced to Alex was the concept of self-compassion. We often speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to a friend. Alex was no exception—his inner critic was relentless. I guided him through an exercise:
“Imagine your closest friend is going through this exact situation. What would you say to them?”
His response was full of empathy and understanding, starkly different from how he spoke to himself. This was a turning point. We worked on reframing his internal dialogue, helping him replace self-criticism with self-compassion. He began practicing this daily, journaling small wins and moments of grace, no matter how small.
Step 2: Setting Priorities
Next, we tackled Alex’s workload and personal commitments. Using a simple framework, we categorized his tasks into:
- Essential: Non-negotiables, like critical work deadlines or family medical appointments.
- Important but Flexible: Tasks that could be delegated or rescheduled.
- Unnecessary: Time-consuming activities with little impact.
This process gave Alex clarity. He realized he didn’t have to do everything alone—delegation at work and leaning on family members were steps he hadn’t considered before.
Step 3: Focus and Presence
We then addressed Alex’s difficulty in being fully present. His mind often wandered at work, worrying about home, and vice versa. I introduced mindfulness techniques to help him focus on the task at hand. A simple breathing exercise became his go-to tool: before switching from one role to another—from work to family, for instance—he’d take a few minutes to reset.
This practice allowed Alex to mentally transition and show up fully, whether he was leading a meeting or spending time with his loved ones.
Step 4: Building a Support System
Finally, we worked on strengthening Alex’s support network. He reached out to colleagues, explaining his situation and asking for their understanding. At home, he opened up to his family, sharing his struggles and asking for help where needed. This openness not only eased his burden but also deepened his connections.
The Transformation
Over a few months, Alex’s life didn’t magically become less demanding, but he learned to navigate it with more grace and resilience. His work performance improved because he was more focused and less weighed down by guilt. At home, he felt more connected and present with his family. Most importantly, he grew kinder to himself.
“I’ve learned that I can’t pour from an empty cup,” Alex shared during one of our later sessions. “Taking care of myself isn’t selfish—it’s the best way to show up for the people who matter most.”
As a coach, I feel honoured to witness such transformations. Alex’s journey is proof that even in the most challenging times, growth and balance are possible when we approach ourselves and our lives with kindness and intention.