While coaching leaders and individuals striving for growth, I have often observed how deeply entrenched beliefs, formed early in life, can unconsciously hold people back. Confirmation bias—our tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that validates our pre-existing beliefs—is one of the most common obstacles to personal and professional development. When left unchecked, it can perpetuate self-doubt, sabotage relationships, and derail growth.
Let me illustrate this with a story about one of my coachees, whom I’ll call Anna. Anna was a brilliant professional with a stellar track record, but she came to me feeling stuck. She was struggling to find fulfilment at work despite her accomplishments, and a recent incident had triggered a cascade of self-doubt that was difficult to manage.
The Seeds of a Belief
During our sessions, Anna shared that she had always felt the need to prove herself, a belief rooted in her college years. Back then, she struggled to fit in. Her peers often overlooked her ideas during group projects, and she felt as though she had to work twice as hard to gain acceptance. Over time, she internalized the belief: “I need to prove my worth to be accepted.”
Fast forward to her professional life, and this belief lingered beneath the surface, shaping how she viewed herself and others. Recently, a minor incident at work had brought this old narrative roaring back. During a team meeting, a colleague unintentionally overlooked Anna’s suggestion. Though the oversight was not malicious, it triggered her deeply held fear of being undermined. The incident spiralled into a series of self-critical thoughts: Am I not good enough? Do my contributions even matter?
Anna’s confirmation bias kicked in, leading her to focus on moments that validated her belief of inadequacy, while dismissing the many instances where she was praised and valued. This mental loop not only drained her confidence but also hindered her ability to fully engage with her team.
The Cost of Confirmation Bias
Confirmation bias can significantly impede growth for individuals and leaders. Here’s how it manifests:
- Self-fulfilling Prophecies: When we’re convinced of a belief, we unconsciously act in ways that reinforce it. Anna, for example, began withdrawing from her team, which made her less visible and further confirmed her sense of being overlooked.
- Missed Opportunities for Feedback: If we only notice feedback that aligns with our beliefs, we miss out on valuable insights that could help us grow.
- Strained Relationships: Biases often lead to misinterpretations of others’ actions, causing unnecessary friction.
For leaders, these patterns can ripple outward, affecting team dynamics and decision-making. A leader who believes they must control every detail to ensure success, for example, may unintentionally stifle their team’s creativity and autonomy.
Breaking Free from the Cycle
The good news is that awareness and intentionality can help break the grip of confirmation bias. Here are some strategies that helped Anna and may help others:
- Identify Core Beliefs: Start by reflecting on recurring thoughts and patterns. Ask yourself: What belief might be driving this reaction? Is it still serving me?
- Challenge the Evidence: Actively seek out evidence that contradicts your belief. In Anna’s case, this meant reviewing moments where her contributions were celebrated.
- Seek External Perspectives: Trusted mentors, colleagues, or a coach can help you see blind spots and challenge limiting narratives.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize that everyone experiences self-doubt. Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
- Focus on Growth: Shift the focus from proving yourself to learning and growing. When Anna embraced this mindset, she began viewing challenges as opportunities to expand her skills rather than as threats to her worth.
Closing Thoughts
For Anna, the journey of confronting her bias was transformative. She not only rebuilt her confidence but also strengthened her relationships at work. She learned to see herself—and her contributions—in a new light.
As a coach, my role is to guide individuals like Anna to uncover and challenge these hidden barriers. Growth begins when we dare to question the stories we have told ourselves and make room for new, empowering narratives.