Today’s coaching session was nothing short of transformative. It was one of those moments where clarity strikes like lightning, reshaping how a person sees themselves — and the world around them.
Toxic situation
Emily, a mid-level leader in a fast-paced organisation, has been grappling with a draining and emotionally complex situation at work. Her boss, on paper, is supportive. But in reality, he consistently undermines her, bypasses her on key decisions, and subtly excludes her from important conversations. The result? She’s carrying a lot of responsibility, but with very little actual authority — a deeply frustrating and disempowering experience.
The metaphor
Over the weeks, we’ve unpacked this situation — the power dynamics, the emotional toll, the ripple effects on her confidence. But today, something clicked.
While describing how she constantly tries to keep the peace, seek approval, and “make it work” despite the obvious lack of reciprocity, she suddenly paused and said, “It’s like I’m Red Riding Hood. I thought I was walking into Grandma’s house… but it’s actually the wolf in disguise.”
What a powerful metaphor.
Light-bulb moment
This wasn’t just about a fairytale. In that moment, she saw her own pattern. She realised that her instinct to be compliant, pleasant, and hopeful — to keep assuming goodwill even in the face of clear evidence to the contrary — was rooted in a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing. She had been walking through the woods trusting everyone to play fair, only to realise that not everyone is who they appear to be.
The analogy of the wolf helped her see her situation with new eyes. She wasn’t weak or naïve for believing. But now that she saw the truth, she had a choice.
The transformation
I asked her, “What do you want to do now that you know it’s the wolf?”
She sat quietly, and then said with a calm resolve:
“I want to wear an armor. I want to be invincible so that the wolf can’t touch me.”
Her posture shifted. She straightened up, her face lost the usual tension, and her voice deepened with certainty. In that moment, she moved from feeling like a victim to feeling like a warrior.
And this wasn’t about aggression. It was about power — her power.
She was reclaiming her authority, not by waiting for the boss to change, but by changing how she engaged with the situation.
She no longer needed to prove herself.
She no longer needed validation.
She saw herself clearly: strong, competent, and in charge.
Breakthrough in action
We explored what this armor would look like in her daily work. It meant holding clear boundaries. Speaking up without apology. Asking direct questions when decisions were made without her. Documenting her contributions. Protecting her energy from manipulative behaviours. And most importantly, reminding herself every day that she does not need to be the sweet girl who gets along with everyone to be effective and respected.
This breakthrough wasn’t just metaphorical — it was physical, emotional, and deeply empowering. It reminded me of why coaching works: when people pause to reflect, real change becomes possible.
To everyone navigating power struggles at work, especially with toxic bosses — remember, awareness is your first tool. You can’t change what you can’t see. But once you see clearly, you can choose how to respond. You can shed old roles, rewrite your story, and show up with armor, strength, and grace.
Because you were never just Red Riding Hood.
You were the warrior all along.